Genetic Anomolies and Birth Defects

Yet again about my catty birth board...

Someone posted a comment about finding out her unborn child had a 1 in 5 chance of having down's syndrome based on her initial quad screening. Which means that her child has an 80% chance of being born "normal".

That's an absolutely perfectly normal worry and concern.

Then she posts something to the effect that if her ultrasound confirmed it, she and her husband had already decided to TERMINATE the pregnancy because they didn't want a "retarded" child.

I think my jaw about hit the floor.

A large portion of the reason that N and I refused the quad screening was because it is a screening tool and not a diagnostic tool. There is a high rate of false positives and you could very well spend the rest of your pregnancy worrying about nothing at all. And finding out that our child could potentially have a genetic defect would not change our minds one bit about loving and cherishing our child. It would not change the fact that this baby is very much wanted. We have no desire to terminate a baby even if baby is not 100% healthy and normal.

I don't know how well I'd do as the mother of a special needs child. I am not perfect and I have many flaws. But somehow, the odds of that were against us in simply getting pregnant makes me strongly feel that God somehow chose us to be parents of this particular child. Regardless of what his or her special needs may or may not be.

I am not a very socially or politically conservative person. However, somehow the thought of choosing to terminate a life that's growing inside me, that I've felt move, that I love more than life itself already just seems wrong. It's not my place to judge, especially since I'm not in her shoes. But I'd rather have my "not so" perfect child here for an hour or 2 days or a month to love and hold and cherish than to decide to terminate.

I still worry some. If this child does have special needs, I'd like us to have the opportunity to get prepared. Find the right doctors and become educated about our challenges. But we still have the ultrasound next month and major anatomical stuff will show up on that and we can then decide with our OB on further testing.

I can't imagine having to walk for one minute in the shoes of a parent faced with those decisions and options, though. Life truly is cruel sometimes.