We still have a baby!

We had a baby doctor appointment today.

I will never tire of hearing the sweet sound of my child's heartbeat. At 155 beats/minute, it was strong and loud. The nurse says she's thinking a boy...She's about the only one who is. N told me today that the heartbeat sounds like a barking dog *rolls eyes*.

I didn't gain much weight, which is ALWAYS something to celebrate! You can sort of see my belly pooching out now, even more so if I'm wearing tighter fitting clothes.

We're getting ready for the holidays around here. I did some cooking today, I have my regular 24 hour shift tomorrow so I will be getting a late start on the Turkey Day cooking when I get off. Fortunately, I'm only cooking for N and I. You'd never know that by the amount of food I'm planning on cooking though. I think that we'll still have leftovers at Christmas.

The big ultrasound will be Jan 6th. I'm looking forward to seeing the child that N and I created, although I am content to wait patiently until then. The holidays will distract me, I hope.

Is this what my life has come to?

So I was with a patient today and thought of a great topic for this blog. I was really excited because I've wanted to get back into blogging again but I've kinda had a small mental block here lately.

Well, tonight as I finally get to sit down at my laptop while awaiting the next call from some poor schmuck, I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I WAS GOING TO WRITE ABOUT...

I didn't have this many problems with my memory before I got pregnant. Now, I can't remember to put on my shoes if I don't leave them by the door. I have to have a shopping list before I go to the grocery store or I'll forget half of what I went for. I pack my work back the night before so that I don't run around in the morning like a chicken with my head cut off.

Please tell me that this gets better...PLEASE? Please tell me that at 30 something years old, I'm not already getting some dementia. Is forgetting everything I ever knew what my life has come to?

Maybe having twins...

Why I think this is beyond me. Twins don't run in either family. I'm not over 35, we didn't use fertility drugs to conceive. I really have no known "risk" factors.

But I've dreamed of twins several times and even triplets one night. Always they are girls. I'm consistently told that I look larger for how far along I am. I've only gained 3 pounds so I shouldn't look too big already. I'm barely at the end of my first trimester, and for the first pregnancy I shouldn't be THAT big already.

When we heard the heartbeat last appointment, the nurse prefaced looking by saying that I "was only 10 weeks and it's really early, so if we don't heard anything, don't freak out." She was looking and looking and looking low down by my pubic bone and couldn't hear anything. But when she moved up to my belly button, we heard the little monkey. She (we don't know yet, but have been referring to the baby as "she" for weeks) was just to the left of my belly button at the belly button height.

I think that both the nurse and I were surprised. She got a funny look on her face and said "are you SURE of your dates?"

Uh yeah, lady. I'm sure. Now I can't tell you the date we actually conceived but I can tell you the date that we did the deed that got me pregnant. And at this point, I don't think that 2 or 3 days makes that much of a difference in where the heart beat is heard.

When I told her that, she asked if we were sure we only were going to have one baby. Since my doctor's office only gives one ultrasound at 20-22 weeks, we've not gotten to see our little monkey yet. Only heard her precious little heart beating away at a stunningly healthy 175 times a minute.

And I told her that. No ultrasound yet. No, we're not sure. And she just kind of smiled, like she knew a secret that we didn't.

Yeah I know that the odds of having a natural multiples conception is like 2% at my age and with all the other factors counted. I know not to get my hopes up too high. I also know that I was maybe 5 days post conception when I was throwing up.

I don't know if we're having more than one or not. But I've talked about it enough and enough people wonder about it at work that Daddy gets overwhelmed by twins talk...I find some sick and perverse pleasure in knowing that I've just about got him convinced that his super sperm helped create 2 babies.

Is that so bad?

The cat is broke...

I came home Tuesday night from watching the election results to see one of my cats limping around the house, dragging one of his back legs. He can't jump, he's pitiful to watch walk around and I had to work my 24 the next day. I felt his leg up pretty good and he didn't meow or cry out in pain or anything, so I didn't rush out and take him to the doctor.

Yesterday, I came home from working hoping to see my kid running around like normal. But no, he was still thumping around. Unfortunately, I had to work last night. So today, I will stuff my cat into the carrier and listen to him meow and howl all the 9 miles to the vet's office. Where I hope that they won't charge me an arm and a leg to find out what's wrong with him...

And I hope that he will forgive me for hauling out the cat carrier and forcing him in it.

Changes in this blog...

I originally started this blog to have an outlet for my professional life. Through the past year, I've had more trials and stressors that I ever thought possible. My life has changed completely and therefore this blog will be changing as well...

I've met and fallen in love with the man of my dreams. I'm now 12 weeks pregnant with our first child.

While I will continue to blog about my career and my patients, this blog will likely turn in to the boring "Mommy" blog. More so to leave a legacy for my unborn child than for the pleasure of anyone else.

I haven't written for awhile. I wasn't sure what direction I was going to go with this. I thought about stopping this blog altogether, but I've decided that I'd miss it...I hope those of you who were reading before will still come back and visit every once in awhile.

Thanks to all who've read and supported this blog over the past year or so. Thank you for sharing my journey.

Why I love the Father of my baby

Taken from my myspace blog:

During my latest (and surely not last) emotional breakdown, my partner in crime was so good to me. I was hysterical, and he was calm...And at that moment, I realized just how much I love him and this life that we've created together.

So call me sappy or whatever you want. Hey, I'm pregnant, I can be as emotional as I want to be!!!

1. The night I started throwing up and we thought we might be pregnant, his response is not fit for some of the people on my friends list. But he has never made me feel that this is "my" pregnancy or that I'm going through this alone. Even before we took a home pregnancy test, he said "we'll take a test". He has never ONCE made me feel like I am doing this alone.

2. When the hysterical crying starts, my sweet man puts his arms around me and holds me and tells me how much he loves me and that everything will be ok. And when I'm bitchy, he just shuts up because he knows it will pass.

3. I simply can't put into words his reaction when the pee stick showed two lines. Really it is something that should be submitted to America's Funniest Home Videos.

4. This is a first child for both of us and so neither of us really know what to expect. It's truly the blind leading the blind and it is really quite comical at times.

5. Daddy came my first doctor's appointment and wants to come to them all. He wants to be involved.

6. He cried when I told him that I wanted to name our child after his mother (who passed away several years ago) if we have a girl.

7. He is a die hard and passionate Cubs fan...To the bitter end.

8. He makes me cry.

9. He makes me laugh.

10. He has a gentle spirit and kind heart.

11. I love him even more because he is the father of my child. I know that he is going to be an amazing Daddy and my heart is happy.

12. He talks about wills and life insurance and who would take care of our little monkey if something happened to both of us.

13. He loves my cooking. Even if sometimes I think it's terrible.

14. He is not afraid to be vulnerable with me.

15. I love the father of my child because he is an amazing man...and I find something daily that reminds me of this.

16. Forehead kisses.

I grow more and more in love with you daily, baby. You are an amazing man and I love you so much.

You know you're in the ghetto when...

The sign next to the toliet in the dialysis clinic says:

Please do not flush your Tampons, pregnancy tests, or Kotex down the toilet.


Gross. Although I had to call my best friend and tell her about it. I made her snort.


I love my job.