Christmas Travels

Tomorrow, I will be on a plane to go see the new Grandma to be for Christmas. Although I know that I will have a great time, I will miss N very much. The week will fly by and soon I will be back to the "same shit, different day" routine.

So far, the monkey's kicking hasn't been enough to be felt from the outside but I'm so afraid that she will start while I'm gone and Daddy will miss feeling the first kicks.

N and I will do Christmas when I get back, sorta anti climactic when you really think about it, I guess. But, hey...it works and it extends the holidays a little bit longer. Will be looking forward to having our ultrasound shortly after I get back.

So just in case, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year (or Happy Hanukkah or Merry Kwanza or whatever else you celebrate) to all!

My Dad

Tonight, my father did an amazing thing for me.

This won't make much sense to those who don't know about the kind of relationship that my Dad and I have. But right now, I needed him. And he came through for me. Without question or hesitation.

I hope some day that my child knows that her parents will ALWAYS be 2 people in this world that she can count on. As long as we are alive and breathing...We will sacrifice to make sure that she has what she needs.

That's what being a parent is all about.

And though my Dad doesn't follow this blog (hell, he probably doesn't even know it exists), THANK YOU DAD...From the bottom of my heart.

Happy Thanksgiving...

We still have a baby!

We had a baby doctor appointment today.

I will never tire of hearing the sweet sound of my child's heartbeat. At 155 beats/minute, it was strong and loud. The nurse says she's thinking a boy...She's about the only one who is. N told me today that the heartbeat sounds like a barking dog *rolls eyes*.

I didn't gain much weight, which is ALWAYS something to celebrate! You can sort of see my belly pooching out now, even more so if I'm wearing tighter fitting clothes.

We're getting ready for the holidays around here. I did some cooking today, I have my regular 24 hour shift tomorrow so I will be getting a late start on the Turkey Day cooking when I get off. Fortunately, I'm only cooking for N and I. You'd never know that by the amount of food I'm planning on cooking though. I think that we'll still have leftovers at Christmas.

The big ultrasound will be Jan 6th. I'm looking forward to seeing the child that N and I created, although I am content to wait patiently until then. The holidays will distract me, I hope.

Happy Belated New Year!

Well in the craziness of the season, I forgot to put the standard "yay, 2007 is over! Welcome 2008...blah blah blah" blog.

2007 was not a really great year for many people that I know. Many deaths, several miscarriages, unemployment, etc. I guess it is all part of the circle of life. I'm sure it's nothing that doesn't happen to everyone throughout their lifetimes.

Nevertheless, I am thrilled that 2007 is totally over with and hope that only good things come in 2008.

So, here's to a healthy and happy, joyous and prosperous 2008! May you find everything that you hope for and all that you deserve.



Happy New Year!!!

Merry Freaking Christmas

So Christmas is not coming to my house this year. My tree is in the basement, the lights are still in the boxes. I didn't even open the ornament holder. My family is far across the country this year as they have been for the past 6 years. I sent out about half my holiday cards but have no desire to send the rest. I'll get to them sometime in January I guess.

I bought Christmas presents for my Mom, a friend, my Captain, and my brother. I didn't know what to get my Dad so I didn't get him anything.

I change the radio station when a Christmasy song is played. I've been watching the holiday and Christmas movies on Lifetime when nothing else is on, but I just have no holiday spirit this year. I have received a few Christmas presents in the mail, wrapped all pretty. They are still in the box because I don't even have the desire to open them. I'll do it on Christmas, I guess. I tried this year, but it just wouldn't come to me.

I don't feel like celebrating this year. It's hard to celebrate when you feel like you're losing everything. I know that this slump won't last forever, but I hate feeling this way. I just want to be back into the rhythm of life. I think I may walk to church tomorrow night. I have nothing else to do and I always loved Christmas Eve services. Maybe it will help me refresh my mind and remember what this season is truly about.

I used to love Christmas, when I wasn't alone. I went all out with a tree, lights, ornaments. Wrapped presents under the tree, holiday scented candles, cheery music on the radio; the whole 9 yards. There is no one here to appreciate it except me, and I frankly don't care this year.

I'll be back to my regular blogging about gross paramedic stuff after the holidays are over, I promise. Until then, you get the randomness of my daily thoughts.

Merry Freaking Christmas everyone!