The Name Game

So, it was really easy to pick a girl's name.

N's Mom passed away unexpectedly a few years ago. And during the week from hell (between throwing up the first time and getting the positive pregnancy test), I decided that if we were indeed pregnant and we had a girl, I wanted to name her after his Mother. He cried when I told him that the day after we took "the test". I still have the text message saved on my phone where he proclaimed our potential baby girl's name as "absolutely f'ing perfect and beautiful". It was easy to pick a first name...after my Mom. So, if this monkey is a girl, she has had a name for over 4 months already.

Now, if monkey is a boy...I think we finally agreed on a name. I'm not 100% sold on the 2 names together, but I do love it. We had picked a name that I loved 2 months ago, but the more that we talked about it and the more I thought about it, I decided that I hated it. The middle name was pretty much set, as it is a way to honor both N and his Mom. But it was a little awkward to find a good solid first name that we could live with. We didn't want something too hard to pronounce or spell, nothing too wild and crazy, and we both liked names that could be shortened.

After much discussion and looking at a million different names, I think that we finally decided on a boy's name.

And I love it.

I say that we had such a difficult time selecting a boy's name because we won't need it...But N says it's always better to be prepared.

My kid is going to have his or her name forever...Just one more thing that N and I could really screw up. But I think that this time, we've done a damn good job.

Genetic Anomolies and Birth Defects

Yet again about my catty birth board...

Someone posted a comment about finding out her unborn child had a 1 in 5 chance of having down's syndrome based on her initial quad screening. Which means that her child has an 80% chance of being born "normal".

That's an absolutely perfectly normal worry and concern.

Then she posts something to the effect that if her ultrasound confirmed it, she and her husband had already decided to TERMINATE the pregnancy because they didn't want a "retarded" child.

I think my jaw about hit the floor.

A large portion of the reason that N and I refused the quad screening was because it is a screening tool and not a diagnostic tool. There is a high rate of false positives and you could very well spend the rest of your pregnancy worrying about nothing at all. And finding out that our child could potentially have a genetic defect would not change our minds one bit about loving and cherishing our child. It would not change the fact that this baby is very much wanted. We have no desire to terminate a baby even if baby is not 100% healthy and normal.

I don't know how well I'd do as the mother of a special needs child. I am not perfect and I have many flaws. But somehow, the odds of that were against us in simply getting pregnant makes me strongly feel that God somehow chose us to be parents of this particular child. Regardless of what his or her special needs may or may not be.

I am not a very socially or politically conservative person. However, somehow the thought of choosing to terminate a life that's growing inside me, that I've felt move, that I love more than life itself already just seems wrong. It's not my place to judge, especially since I'm not in her shoes. But I'd rather have my "not so" perfect child here for an hour or 2 days or a month to love and hold and cherish than to decide to terminate.

I still worry some. If this child does have special needs, I'd like us to have the opportunity to get prepared. Find the right doctors and become educated about our challenges. But we still have the ultrasound next month and major anatomical stuff will show up on that and we can then decide with our OB on further testing.

I can't imagine having to walk for one minute in the shoes of a parent faced with those decisions and options, though. Life truly is cruel sometimes.

Gender Disappointment

So there's a woman on my birth board (a really catty forum full of hormonal pregnant woman all due within the same month) who found out last week that she's not having a baby with the gender that she wants. She was asking how to "get over it" and that she was seriously considering giving up her child or something similar...I quit reading when it was obvious that she was serious.

Excuse me??? Is that not the shallowest thing you've ever heard? I can understand being a little disappointed, especially if you have had "feelings" that your baby is one sex of the other. I just know that this little monkey is a girl and I am not going to lie and say that I won't be at least a little bit disappointed if the baby turns out to be a boy. But, in the end...I don't really care as long as monkey is healthy. That's all that really matters.

To think that someone would want to give up their child because they are the wrong sex. Let's face it, life is FULL of disappointments. And throw a child into the mix and well, life happens. Your child may not turn out the way you want them to. They may choose a career or have a lifestyle that you aren't happy with. But you know what? You love them anyway, because they are your child.

Seems to me that if someone is that upset over the sex of their child, perhaps they are not mature enough to be having a child.

Advice

When you are pregnant, everyone feel like it's their place to give you advice. Advice on what to eat, what not to eat, what to wear, what to buy for the baby, what not to buy for the baby, and when to call the doctor...

I'm sick. I've got the stomach flu. I'll spare you all the gory details but I feel like crap. I finally kept down some food tonight but I've not been able to get that many fluids in me. The past few days, I've only managed to take in about 1 day's worth of fluids because I've been sleeping so much.

So, I'm going to call the doctor tomorrow, just to be on the safe side. With as much liquids as I've lost in the past 24 hours, I need to make sure the baby is OK. If only to calm my own worries.

Baby Flutters

I felt them last night for the first time. We were sitting in the truck in between calls and I was almost asleep.

I felt 3 quick taps right by my belly button. It felt like popcorn kernals popping in my belly.

It was so quick that I almost wonder if I imagined it...

Withdrawls

My cell phone isn't working right. I'm not getting 90% of the text messages that are being sent to me.

OH MY GOSH!!!

I'm gonna have withdrawls, I think. What will I do without the ability to communicate instantly with people? I can remember back about 10 years ago when I didn't even have a cell phone with text messaging. And now I send and receive up to 100 messages a day...

Damn, I'm gonna be bored.

DeCluttering....

I had grand plans for the day. I was going to clean out the office and start moving stuff around for when the baby comes.

And here it is, 7:30 PM and I've not gotten hardly anything done at all.

I did find a good sale at oldnavy.com and got a ton of maternity clothes for cheap with a 20% off code and a free shipping code. I spent most of my birthday money and I just hope that the stuff that I bought fits!

Then I actually spent several hours posting ads on Craigslist, trying to declutter some things and also make some money before the Monkey is born. I hope and pray that the economy brings out people looking for some great deals and that the holiday season brings out people looking for gifts...

I picked up some overtime tomorrow, so no decluttering. It will have to wait until Wednesday.