New Baby Blog

As soon as I get everything moved over and I'm certain that it's working properly, all the baby blogging will occur at a different blog. Please leave a comment or send me an email if you'd like the address to the new blog.

I'll still be blogging on this one about work stuff, but likely not as much. Those who have followed me for the past year or more, thanks for your support and loyalty.

Oprah sucks

I watch Oprah when I'm home. I don't obsessively tape it though...Just something to have on the TV for noise, I guess.

Well, after the first trimester emotional meltdowns and crying all the time had stopped, I thought that we had moved on to pre pregnancy emotional status quo. Apparently not...

Some adoption story first had me bawling. Then Dr. Phil, then Oprah, then a rerun of Extreme Makeover Home Edition...Damn. I only cry like this if I'm getting sick.

I'm not talking little sniffles. I'm talking huge ass crocodile tears rolling down my face, complete with the snotty nose that needed to be blown.

I thought I was supposed to cry at Hallmark commercials, not Oprah. I'm really glad that no one was around to see me bawling my little eyes out this afternoon. Although, thankfully I was at least crying over SOMETHING. When I was first pregnant, I'd sit on N's couch for hours and just cry over nothing at all. And I'd feel bad because he didn't know what to do and I'd feel bad for making him feel bad, which in turn would make me cry some more...Vicious cycle those hormones are.

Anatomy Ultrasound

Anatomy Ultrasound. Makes it sound all official and crap. I guess so the crappy insurance company that we have insurance through will pay for it. They can't call it a "gender scan" or a "sex ultrasound"...That would make it sound so unnecessary and therefore could be denied payment by the insurance company.

And really, the ultrasound is an in depth look at the anatomy and the structures of the fetus while still in utero. It allows for diagnosis and potential treatment of certain medical problems and conditions. With our practitioner's approval, we decided not to have any genetic screening tests. There is such a high rate of false positives (if you want to call it that) that we didn't want to worry about something potentially being wrong the rest of the pregnancy. Anything major should show up on a scan, and then we can choose to have further testing if we want.

So, on Tuesday, I'll bare my baby belly and pray for a perfectly healthy baby. With any luck, this little monkey (who coincidentally is about the size of a small ripe canteloupe, by the way) will have not a shred of modesty and we will get to find out whether we are having a penis baby or a vagina baby.

But really, we will get to see the first pictures of our angel baby and Daddy will get to really begin the bonding process...I've been feeling the little turkey kick and punch me now every day consistenly for about 9 days or so...Nothing strong enough for N to feel from the outside of my belly yet. I can't wait until he can put his hand on my belly and feel Thumper kick.

Night and Day, Day and Night?

I'm sitting here at 12:15 AM in the living room of my Mother's house. Sitting on the couch...I just finished uploading to my facebook account some holiday pictures that were taken over the last few days.

The monkey has been kicking, rolling around, and in general, having a party inside her uterine home for the past few hours.

DOES SHE NOT UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS BEDTIME????

She has done nothing all day. NOTHING. Not a twitch, kick, punch, or roll.

Now that it is time for bed, she seems to be waking up and deciding that it is time to play with Mom. Thankfully, right now her movements are not strong or forceful enough to keep me awake at all. I know that will change in a few weeks, though so I just laugh now as I sit here and she steps on my bladder like a trampoline.

I hope she figures out night and day by the time she is born...

Things I wish I would have known BEFORE getting pregnant

I've compiled a list of things that I wish someone (anyone) would have told me before I got knocked up...

That I'd cry and cry for no reason at all.

That I'd be bitchy and irritable and lose my patience constantly.

That I can't poop except once a week even with taking something and eating so many veggies I think I'll turn into a celery stick.

That I'd crave things I haven't eaten in over 20 years.

That I'd have to pee every 30 minutes.

That sneezing or farting could make me pee on myself.

That I'd have all sorts of strange aches and pains in my belly.

That I can only take Tylenol.

That you leak. From everywhere. 'Nuff said.

That my skin itches and there isn't anything that makes it stop.

That I have to pee. Constantly.

That I'd come to love and appreciate my child's Daddy more than I ever could imagine.

That the "Pregnancy Glow" is a freakin' myth.

That it takes you about 5 months (give or take) to look a little bit pregnant...the rest of the time it just looks like you've overindulged in the buffet line.

That people would treat me like I'm disabled and not just pregnant.

That hearing my baby's heartbeat for the first time would be the most amazing thing in the entire world.

That I'd love my unborn child more than life itself.

Christmas Travels

Tomorrow, I will be on a plane to go see the new Grandma to be for Christmas. Although I know that I will have a great time, I will miss N very much. The week will fly by and soon I will be back to the "same shit, different day" routine.

So far, the monkey's kicking hasn't been enough to be felt from the outside but I'm so afraid that she will start while I'm gone and Daddy will miss feeling the first kicks.

N and I will do Christmas when I get back, sorta anti climactic when you really think about it, I guess. But, hey...it works and it extends the holidays a little bit longer. Will be looking forward to having our ultrasound shortly after I get back.

So just in case, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year (or Happy Hanukkah or Merry Kwanza or whatever else you celebrate) to all!

Baby's First Christmas

I bought a baby's first Christmas ornament last week and took it to N's last night. He hung it on the tree after a short discussion of whether this was truly "Baby's First Christmas" or not. We settled on "kinda". I did specifically buy one that didn't have the year printed on it, so we can buy a 2009 one next year for the little monkey...

And speaking of the little monkey, I think that she was trying to head butt me last night. Can they do that this early? It was strange feeling and not at all like the soft little jabs that I've been getting. It was like something was rolling over in my tummy.

Foot found growing in newborn's brain

Wow...Just wow. I'm speechless.

Foot found in newborn's brain

Kinda creepy if you ask me.

I'm gestating a kickboxer

For the sake of brevity until we know the gender of our love child, I will likely refer to the baby as "she" or "her"...

N says she just wants out. I saw it's too early and she needs to chill and hang out a little while longer.

Yesterday I was on my laptop chatting with N and trying to work as little as possible. I hadn't really felt any movement since that first night almost 2 weeks ago. Not that I was terribly worried, because it's still pretty early and I know that in a month or 2, I'll be begging her to stop.

I soon found my belly button under attack by a miniature fetal limb. It's not really a poking or a jabbing. I'm not quite sure how to describe it. But she kicked and punched my belly button for over an hour. N said "are you sure it's not gas?"

Yep. I'm sure.

Grandma (my mom) says, "well at least you know there's a baby in there and it's not just a tumor" as she laughs. I've heard all about my own acrobatics while in the womb...Apparently, I did headstands on my mom's bladder and pushed up on her diaphragm. Hey! I was just trying to have a little more space. I hear it gets crowded in there eventually.

It's kinda neat. I guess I should enjoy the gentle taps and pokes while I can, before she decides to really try to kick her way out of her uterine home.

I can't wait until her Daddy can feel her moving around, too. It's so amazing and I'm eager to share this part of monkey's gestation with him.

The Name Game

So, it was really easy to pick a girl's name.

N's Mom passed away unexpectedly a few years ago. And during the week from hell (between throwing up the first time and getting the positive pregnancy test), I decided that if we were indeed pregnant and we had a girl, I wanted to name her after his Mother. He cried when I told him that the day after we took "the test". I still have the text message saved on my phone where he proclaimed our potential baby girl's name as "absolutely f'ing perfect and beautiful". It was easy to pick a first name...after my Mom. So, if this monkey is a girl, she has had a name for over 4 months already.

Now, if monkey is a boy...I think we finally agreed on a name. I'm not 100% sold on the 2 names together, but I do love it. We had picked a name that I loved 2 months ago, but the more that we talked about it and the more I thought about it, I decided that I hated it. The middle name was pretty much set, as it is a way to honor both N and his Mom. But it was a little awkward to find a good solid first name that we could live with. We didn't want something too hard to pronounce or spell, nothing too wild and crazy, and we both liked names that could be shortened.

After much discussion and looking at a million different names, I think that we finally decided on a boy's name.

And I love it.

I say that we had such a difficult time selecting a boy's name because we won't need it...But N says it's always better to be prepared.

My kid is going to have his or her name forever...Just one more thing that N and I could really screw up. But I think that this time, we've done a damn good job.

Genetic Anomolies and Birth Defects

Yet again about my catty birth board...

Someone posted a comment about finding out her unborn child had a 1 in 5 chance of having down's syndrome based on her initial quad screening. Which means that her child has an 80% chance of being born "normal".

That's an absolutely perfectly normal worry and concern.

Then she posts something to the effect that if her ultrasound confirmed it, she and her husband had already decided to TERMINATE the pregnancy because they didn't want a "retarded" child.

I think my jaw about hit the floor.

A large portion of the reason that N and I refused the quad screening was because it is a screening tool and not a diagnostic tool. There is a high rate of false positives and you could very well spend the rest of your pregnancy worrying about nothing at all. And finding out that our child could potentially have a genetic defect would not change our minds one bit about loving and cherishing our child. It would not change the fact that this baby is very much wanted. We have no desire to terminate a baby even if baby is not 100% healthy and normal.

I don't know how well I'd do as the mother of a special needs child. I am not perfect and I have many flaws. But somehow, the odds of that were against us in simply getting pregnant makes me strongly feel that God somehow chose us to be parents of this particular child. Regardless of what his or her special needs may or may not be.

I am not a very socially or politically conservative person. However, somehow the thought of choosing to terminate a life that's growing inside me, that I've felt move, that I love more than life itself already just seems wrong. It's not my place to judge, especially since I'm not in her shoes. But I'd rather have my "not so" perfect child here for an hour or 2 days or a month to love and hold and cherish than to decide to terminate.

I still worry some. If this child does have special needs, I'd like us to have the opportunity to get prepared. Find the right doctors and become educated about our challenges. But we still have the ultrasound next month and major anatomical stuff will show up on that and we can then decide with our OB on further testing.

I can't imagine having to walk for one minute in the shoes of a parent faced with those decisions and options, though. Life truly is cruel sometimes.

Gender Disappointment

So there's a woman on my birth board (a really catty forum full of hormonal pregnant woman all due within the same month) who found out last week that she's not having a baby with the gender that she wants. She was asking how to "get over it" and that she was seriously considering giving up her child or something similar...I quit reading when it was obvious that she was serious.

Excuse me??? Is that not the shallowest thing you've ever heard? I can understand being a little disappointed, especially if you have had "feelings" that your baby is one sex of the other. I just know that this little monkey is a girl and I am not going to lie and say that I won't be at least a little bit disappointed if the baby turns out to be a boy. But, in the end...I don't really care as long as monkey is healthy. That's all that really matters.

To think that someone would want to give up their child because they are the wrong sex. Let's face it, life is FULL of disappointments. And throw a child into the mix and well, life happens. Your child may not turn out the way you want them to. They may choose a career or have a lifestyle that you aren't happy with. But you know what? You love them anyway, because they are your child.

Seems to me that if someone is that upset over the sex of their child, perhaps they are not mature enough to be having a child.

Advice

When you are pregnant, everyone feel like it's their place to give you advice. Advice on what to eat, what not to eat, what to wear, what to buy for the baby, what not to buy for the baby, and when to call the doctor...

I'm sick. I've got the stomach flu. I'll spare you all the gory details but I feel like crap. I finally kept down some food tonight but I've not been able to get that many fluids in me. The past few days, I've only managed to take in about 1 day's worth of fluids because I've been sleeping so much.

So, I'm going to call the doctor tomorrow, just to be on the safe side. With as much liquids as I've lost in the past 24 hours, I need to make sure the baby is OK. If only to calm my own worries.

Baby Flutters

I felt them last night for the first time. We were sitting in the truck in between calls and I was almost asleep.

I felt 3 quick taps right by my belly button. It felt like popcorn kernals popping in my belly.

It was so quick that I almost wonder if I imagined it...

Withdrawls

My cell phone isn't working right. I'm not getting 90% of the text messages that are being sent to me.

OH MY GOSH!!!

I'm gonna have withdrawls, I think. What will I do without the ability to communicate instantly with people? I can remember back about 10 years ago when I didn't even have a cell phone with text messaging. And now I send and receive up to 100 messages a day...

Damn, I'm gonna be bored.

DeCluttering....

I had grand plans for the day. I was going to clean out the office and start moving stuff around for when the baby comes.

And here it is, 7:30 PM and I've not gotten hardly anything done at all.

I did find a good sale at oldnavy.com and got a ton of maternity clothes for cheap with a 20% off code and a free shipping code. I spent most of my birthday money and I just hope that the stuff that I bought fits!

Then I actually spent several hours posting ads on Craigslist, trying to declutter some things and also make some money before the Monkey is born. I hope and pray that the economy brings out people looking for some great deals and that the holiday season brings out people looking for gifts...

I picked up some overtime tomorrow, so no decluttering. It will have to wait until Wednesday.

How does this make sense?

Last night, the only Level 1 Trauma Center in our area went on total diversion. Meaning they weren't accepting any new patients, INCLUDING the patients that fit the Level 1 Trauma criteria.

I guess I just don't understand how this can happen. I thought that part of receiving the designation meant that they couldn't divert Level 1 Trauma patients or refuse to accept them. Apparently, I was wrong since they were on diversion for several hours. The only people this hurts are those who desperately need the services of the Trauma Center.

What's the point in having a specialty center like a Level 1 Trauma Center if they aren't even going to take Level 1 Trauma patients?

For a good time...

Check out your local Craig's List personal ads...specifically the Missed Connections section.

I've spent all morning looking at them and get the biggest kick out of them, specifically the men to men ones (even though I'm neither). I've found a few of my coworkers that are being sought. And seen some pretty desperate people's posts--some who clearly have no idea how to form a complete and intelligent thought.

Go look, you'll love it and you know it.

Black Friday Shopping

Was a decent success this year. I didn't really have a ton of money to be stimulating the economy with and I didn't REALLY need anything. But somehow, I managed to spend a few hundred dollars and got a ton of stuff.

I found a ton of adorable infant outfits that were super cheap. I got some sleep sacks, some sleepers, a "baby's first christmas" outfit, a few toys, and a couple odds and ends. I'll probably wind up returning most of them, but it was nice to daydream for a few minutes...

I found a few good things at Electronic Express but had the most terrible experience with their employees and managers. I did get what I came for after a significant amount of hassle, but I will never return there again.

At Joann's, I bought some fleece and flannel for baby blanket projects for the monkey. I also got some scrapbook supplies to begin a book for the baby.

All in all, I had a pretty good day. I was up at 3 am and got home a little bit before noon. I'm now ready for a nap. Tomorrow's shift will come too soon and I will be too grumpy to be around if I don't get a bit of rest.

If you braved the crowds today, I hope that you got what you were looking for and made it home safely. If you plan to go out tomorrow, please be nice to everyone, especially the retail employees.

The "last"...

This is the last Thanksgiving without the monkey. A few weeks ago, N and I celebrated our last birthdays without the monkey. Next month will be our last Christmas and New Year's Eve without the monkey. On one hand it's a little sad. Kinda like a rite of passage. But instead of moping and being upset or anything about it, we're exactly the opposite. Next Thanksgiving, there will be a family of 3 around the table (albeit the third member will only be about 6 months old...), plus the extended family will be coming out of the woodwork, I'm sure.

Seems that events are marked this year by being the "last" one...Then right away, we say with a big grin, "But next year the baby will be here!"

The bigger and more pregnant I get, the more excited we both get. Part of us are still kinda dumbfounded. Well, I am at least. I shouldn't speak for N. Some days it's almost hard to believe. But then something happens and I remember what a miracle this little one is and how much more vibrant and wonderful life will be next year once Monkey is born.

Happy Thanksgiving!